Howl
by Sellotaped Heart
Summary: After succeeding in staving off the flip, Sophia is now faced with the pressure of keeping Lucas Cates at bay in order to maintain it. A chore made easy by the frightening dreams that are beginning to make her think her life just might depend on it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own it. If I did, I wouldn't of let it end with a cliffhanger that still tortures me today.

* * *

**Howl**

**Chapter One: Home**

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Even though she'd never had a month pass so slowly, Sophia Donner still wasn't ready for this one to end.

Sitting on the snow soaked porch steps of the old Victorian home that had been her private sanctuary these past weeks, she sat with her hands clamped tightly between her knees and her bottom lip clenched between her teeth, dreading having to face the mess she'd left behind when she'd been bundled out of town by her father.

He was due to arrive any minute, to take her back to it all.

Feeling her agitation rise, Sophia reached into the pocket of her heavy shearling coat and retrieved the bottle she found there. She popped the lid and shook out two small white pills and knocked them back.

Clonidine.

The four doses a day she'd been prescribed made her feel like a junky, except instead of getting high she just ended up feeling light headed and cotton mouthed. But they also restricted the amount of epinephrine her body produced—and so far—drastically reduced her urge to flip.

Sophia sighed. "Totally worth the cotton mouth."

"What's that, dear?"

Startled, Sophia turned sharply to see Mrs. Upstein step out of the house and onto the porch. "Ah…nothing…just talking to myself."

Claudia Upstein handed off one of the two cups of cocoa she held in her hands and sat down next to Sophia. They sat in silence, nursing their drinks for a while, before Claudia finally spoke. "You're doing the right thing, Sophia."

Sophia's head nodded of its own volition, a practiced response to the statement that had been repeated to her so many times by so many different people.

Claudia put her weathered hand on her shoulder. Sophia met her calming smile. "You are, Sophia. This thing goes beyond just not wanting to _be_ a werewolf."

The older woman's eyes began to water. Sophia put her mug down and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

Claudia Upstein had been a pediatrician when she'd met and married a werewolf from Minnesota. They'd had two sets of twins who they'd brought up and raised on pack land and ideals—completely integrated—much to the disgust of most of the pack who looked down their nose at Claudia and her mongrel offspring. Sophia hated the word, but had heard it whispered in reference to herself on countless occasions.

Claudia had thought their flipping would change everything and bring them all closer to the pack. But instead, none of her four sons had survived the ordeal, their human genes unable to cope with the shift in natures.

Her husband had committed suicide after the death of his last remaining heir and Claudia had never forgiven herself. Now she sought to help people in the same predicament her sons had been in—sought to stop the change from happening at all.

Sophia looked her dead in the eye. "I know. I appreciate everything you've done for me, Mrs. Upstein."

Claudia smiled and patted her hand. "Your Dad's here."

Her father's truck pulled to a stop in front of them and she gave a genuine smile at the first sight of him. He'd kept in close contact with her; they'd spoken on the phone almost every night. In truth, they'd spoken more during her stay with Claudia than in the entirety of last year.

She drained the mug of the last of its contents and slung her heavy duffle bag over her shoulder as she got to her unsteady feet. Matt immediately rushed forward and took the bag from her before pulling her into a hug.

The breath hitched in her throat as she tightened her hold on him. "Hey, Daddy."

Matt released her and took a step back; he cupped her face in his hands and smiled as he tilted it from one side to the other—taking in her new hair no doubt.

"You cut your hair."

Suddenly nervous, Sophia ran a hand over the pixie cut and flicked the longer bangs out of her eyes. "I…it was getting too hot during the…episodes."

Matt tweaked her nose. "It looks great. I'll meet you in the car, honey."

Sophia gave Claudia a final hug goodbye and slid into the passenger seat.

She watched surreptitiously as they spoke to each other in lowered tones.

They were deep in conversation about her.

Not long ago, she would of felt slighted about not being included in a conversation that included her well-being. But she was grateful for it now.

She was sick of talking about herself, about how she felt and what she was going through, all necessary questions according to Claudia and the therapy she'd used to much success with other kids like Sophia. So now she was happy for Matt to take the reins and leave her in peace.

Ten minutes later he was in the car and they set off on the seven-hour drive back to Wolf Lake. Silence filled the gap between them. With her head pressed against the window, Sophia watch the snow slowly begin to recede as they move further and further away from the old house in the middle of no where.

Matt found himself checking on her constantly out the corner of his eye. He was unnerved by the change in her. He'd noticed it during their ritual nighttime phone conversations. She'd told him she was fine, that she was doing well all things considering. But she'd sounded so brow beaten.

He'd put it down to the sessions. Restricting the physical flip would have been painful and exhausting; the deadness in her tone could only be expected. But it was the deadness in her eyes now that startled him.

"Do we have to go back?"

Matt hadn't realized just how quiet the car had been until her softly spoken words had sounded off like gunshots. "What do you mean?"

Sophia turned her face toward him, but her eyes skittered off over his shoulder. "Can't we…go somewhere for a while longer."

Matt sighed. He'd considered it. God, had he considered it. Many times over the years he'd thought about up and leaving Wolf Lake. He only lived on the outskirts of the pack, it should be easy to leave completely. If only that were true.

"I'm sorry, Sophia. But we can't leave Wolf Lake. The pack is still too unstable, and I can't leave the townspeople should the pack implode. There's also our own safety to take into account. The pack can protect us should-"

"I'm not a wolf."

Matt sighed. "Well no, not exactly-"

"The pack can't and won't protect me, because I don't _need_ their protection. I'm normal, Dad. I'm just _me _now."

She was so emphatic that all Matt could bring himself to do was nod. He understood this was a tough time for her. For now he was happy to let her get through it in whatever way she could. But the fact was, she wasn't the same girl that had come to him crying four weeks ago.

You only had to see that she no longer required glasses to figure that out.

"Okay, honey. In a couple of months, during the summer, hopefully when things have settled down, we can just pack up and go somewhere…wherever you want."

Sophia seemed to have lost interest in the conversation and was back to staring pensively out the window.

"Scott Nichols has been asking after you."

She snorted. "Did he want to make sure you'd shipped me off to the nearest psycho ward?"

"No, Sophia, he seemed genuinely concerned."

"I bet. I wonder what part of our first date he liked most. The part where Luke Cates threw him face first across the street or the part where I hip-tossed someone twice my size."

Matt smirked, taking particular liking to the last one. "Guy's like a girl that can take care of themselves."

"Is that why you like Vivian Cates?"

Had he not been paying close attention, the shock of that statement would have had them careening into the nearest ditch. "Excuse me?"

Sophia shrugged. "You hear things."

Agitated, Matt fidgeted in his seat, trying to get comfortable. "People talk too damn much. Vivian is just an old friend, of sorts."

Relieved that her change in subject had taken the focus off her and sent them back into silence, Sophia settled deeper into her seat, closed her eyes and sought the refuge of sleep.

_Blood smoldered in her veins. The breath that past her too-dry lips came out in husky pants. Muscles flexed and rippled beneath her too-tight skin. She was going to explode._

_Control._

_It was all about control. _

_Her breaths quickened. _

_Her knuckles turned white as she squeezed the silken sheets beneath her in a deathgrip. _

_Control._

_She was burning up, sweat beaded on her brow from exertion. She whimpered, but it sounded too canine to have come from her. "Oh please, let that not be me," she gasped._

_A shadow fell over the bed. Her heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to come out of her chest. A face came out of the darkness._

_Deep-set Hazel eyes that saw too much and a sinful mouth that said too little. _

_She closed her eyes to block him out. _

_He wasn't real. He shouldn't be here. She wasn't one of them._

"_Let go, Sophia." _

_He was so close, her lips felt the words uttered above them before her ears heard them._

_She shook her head to the negative. She couldn't let go, she had to stay in control._

_Strong hands framed her face, holding it in place._

"_Let go," he whispered. "I promise I'll catch you."_

_She knew it was coming, but it didn't stop the gasp of surprise when he gently put his soft lips to hers, he used the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth. It was a wicked kiss, full of intent and promise._

_Promise. _

_He didn't know the meaning of the word. _

_It was nothing but a liar's kiss, but it still made her burn. _

_His hand's left her face and traveled down her arms. It felt like her blood was following his tracing fingers, leaving sizzling sensation in their wake, it came to a crescendo when he gripped a wrist in each hand and pinned them above her head._

_A rumbling growl tore through her and died between their locks mouths. _

_Control._

_He'd stolen it from her and she no longer cared, so long as he continued to lie to her some more. She arched up into him, feeling every inch of his tantalizing form but craving more._

_His mouth left hers and she thought she'd die from it. The whimper she emitted seemed to please him. He feathered kisses along her jaw and she moved her head this way and that to give him better access._

"_Do you love me, Sophia?"_

_She closed her eyes, but it didn't stop the tears from sliding down her cheeks. "Yes."_

"_Even though it's going to kill you?"_

_Her eyes flashed open, but she wasn't faced with him anymore, a hulking wolf stood in his place. The weight of the bear-sized creature pushed her down into the bed, and then she realized she wasn't on a bed anymore—a forest floor was in its place. The smell of pine filled her nose and the ground felt damp beneath her._

_She tried to move, but her muscles were frozen in place. She tried to scream but no sound came out. All she could do was watch in horror as the wolf bared its razor sharp teeth, bit down on her jugular and began to shake her furiously._

"Sophia!" Matt yelled, shaking his prone daughter awake.

Sophia put her hand atop Matt's and blinked the sleep from her eyes. "What?"

"What? I've been trying to wake you for five minutes, I had to check for a pulse just to make sure you weren't dead!" he snapped.

She frowned. "I was dreaming."

Matt slumped back in his seat and sighed. "Must have been some dream. We're home, by the way. Thank god we had all that conversation to break up the monotony of those country back roads, eh?"

Her eyes became guarded. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a sleepy yawn. "I'm sorry, Dad."

Matt shook his head and got out of the car, grabbing her bag from the backseat as he did so. "It's fine, honey. Probably need all the rest you can get before tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Your first shift back?"

Sophia stopped dead in her tracks and Matt just barely avoided crashing into the back of her. "Dad, I don't-"

"I know what you're going to say, but Claudia said you need to stick to your usual schedule. Normalcy is of the utmost importance. You need to get back on the horse, sitting around the house procrastinating about all this won't do you any good."

"Not even for one day, Dad? There's getting back on the horse and then there's being shoved on it backwards and pushed down a ravine."

Matt was beginning to like riling her. Color returned to her cheeks and her eyes actually focused. He stepped around her, unlocked the door and stepped inside. "You'll thank me one day, I'm sure."

Sophia muttered what he could do with his thanks and trudged in after him.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own it. If I did, I wouldn't of let it end with a cliffhanger that still tortures me today.

* * *

**Howl**

**Chapter Two**

**

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**

She'd slept in late. She'd slept in _beyond_ late.

Matt had given her a wake up call when he'd left the house at 9:30am and she could have sworn she'd only slept on for a hand full of minutes. Imagine her surprise when she'd rolled over to her alarm and seen that it was 1.35pm when she was expected to clock in for the lunch shift over an hour ago.

She cursed the fact that her Dad refused to buy her a car for the hundredth time and peddled faster on the bike he'd given her instead. The idea of calling someone for a ride had flicked through her head while she'd rushed through her shower, but every name she thought of was just as unappealing as the first. She was already thrusting herself into an uncomfortable scenario; she really didn't want to aggravate it any more by asking someone for a favor.

Grateful for the downhill portion of her trek that took her from her Hill's home to the first outer suburb of Wolf Lake flat, Sophia eased her pace. She'd never been this late for a shift. A model employee since she'd gotten the job two years ago, she scoured for an excuse that would be adequate. She had nothing.

Ten minutes later she pulled her bike in behind the restaurant and stormed through the backdoor into the locker room. Thankfully empty, she stripped off her jacket and tossed it into her locker before tying the apron she stowed in there around her waist. She gave a quick check in the mirror to make sure her hair wasn't too windblown, and then pushed through into the kitchen.

Lenny, who had been cooking here since before she was born, watched her mutely as she glided by him, as if it were any other day and nodded his head in way of reply when she gave him a cheery hello.

She didn't give herself any time to dwell on it before pushing out into the dining room. They were in full lunch rush swing. Two other waitresses ferried trays from the service window to customers and hurriedly jotted down further orders. Sophia gave a sigh of relief when she saw that Kit was one of them.

When Kit caught sight of her behind the counter, she seemed just as excited to see her, the slight blonde threw her arms around Sophia neck and bounced on her sensible sneakers. "Sophia! Screw you for being so damn late, but you're here and I love your hair!"

Sophia grimaced. "I know. I feel like a total biatch and thanks."

Kit flicked her hand dismissively. "Don't sweat it. Carl hasn't made his rounds yet so you should be in the clear. So how is she?"

"Ahhh," Sophia frowned, "how's who?"

Kit's brow furrowed in confusion. "Your aunt? Your Dad said she was sick or something and you went to spend some time with her?"

"Oh. Right," Sophia floundered for something to say. "She died."

Kit's face fell. "Oh Sophia, I'm sorry."

"Yeah…it…sucks."

Tammy, the no-nonsense weekend waitress, breezed past them with a tray filled with dirty dishes. "Catch up later, girls. This place is a mad house."

Grateful for the distraction, Sophia dashed to a table in her section and began clearing it for the next patron. After an hour, she was beginning to think there was something to what her father had said the night before. It was kinda nice to be busy. Thing's were beginning to slow down and she and Kit had managed to grab snatches of time to talk and catch up with everything that had happened while she'd been away. Not surprisingly, nothing much.

One thing had definitely caught her attention though. They'd been back in the kitchen, refilling condiments when Kit broached the subject of Scott Nichols.

"So Emery was totally all over him, so wanting to pick up where they left off, and he was having none of it. I swear, he's been nagging me constantly for updates on you," she licked some sauce from her fingers. "I didn't tell him, of course, that you hadn't gotten in contact with your best friend _eithe_r-"

"Sorry," Sophia said with a smile.

"You're forgiven—Instead, I totally kept him on the line for you, like a best friend should."

Sophia brow arched. "Meaning?"

"Meaning I lied through my teeth and told him he was all you talked about during our hour long gabfest's, but you were too busy and upset about your aunt to call him." Kit put a hand to her heart. "He was very understanding. He has it bad for you, Soph, despite all your crazy."

Sophia playfully squirted Kit with a bottle of mustard, nailing her dead on the name-tag. "Cow."

Kit snatched a slice of tomato Lenny had just finished chopping and flung it into Sophia's hair. "Bitch."

Sophia poured salt into an empty shaker and mulled over what Kit had said.

She liked Scott Nichols. She liked him a lot. He was a nice, normal, good-looking guy and he was still interested in her after the nightmare of their first date. She should be ecstatic, but flattered was the strongest feeling she could summon up.

Kit clearly read something into her musing because she rolled her eyes and slapped her hands down onto the island separating them. "Or maybe there's someone _else_ you were hoping had checked up on you, someone like Luke Cates?"

Sophia shook her head and carried the refreshed condiments out into the dining area, Kit hot on her heels. "Not at all. Nothing's changed since the last time we talked about this. I am over that scene."

Kit nodded. "Well good. Scott's a great guy, and in this town, those are in short supply."

Sophia smirked. "Why, you are a fan. Planning on making a move while my back was turned, Kit?"

Kit smiled dryly. "Oh please, I'm over high school boys."

"Aren't we a woman of the world. When did this shift happen?"

"After my third date with Tommy Hitchins. He spent the whole night talking to my chest and hiding his boner behind menu's and popcorn boxes. So, so done. Older guys are where it is at."

Sophia rolled her eyes. "Are we speaking from actual experience here, Kit?"

Kit danced back around the bar and turned to waggle her brows at Sophia. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Two hours later, feeling better for having been there, Sophia said goodnight to Kit and Lenny and stepped out into the back parking lot. Her first day back could not have gone better. Apart from the odd speculative stare from the occasional pack member that had come in, she'd mostly been greeted with 'welcome backs' and condolences for her imaginary, and recently deceased, relative.

The sun was just about to set and the entire town was bathed in a golden glow, the last traces of sunlight felt good on her skin as she peddled for home. She'd thought about calling into the station and getting a ride from her Dad when he knocked off in a couple hours, but she suddenly had a hankering for the fresh air and wind through her hair that the bike ride would provide. Even the arduous ride back up the hills couldn't keep her good mood down. In fact, her muscles seemed to welcome it, a definite first.

The house was dark when she got there in record time. Sophia stowed her bike back in the garage and jogged up the front steps. She was humming while she rifled through her bag to get her keys. Normalcy was nice.

After getting inside, she dumped her bag beside the door and went straight to the kitchen. Famished, she quickly prepared a couple sandwiches and a tall glass of milk before mounting the stairs to the second level and heading straight for her room.

She didn't bother with the light, instead heading straight for her desk and depositing her meager dinner beside the keyboard. She was reaching to turn on the hard drive when the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood up on end. Sophia spun on her heel and recoiled back against the desk, making the monitor and her glass of milk rock precariously.

"Sophia."

Just her name in way of greeting, but the tone he used it in almost made her blush. She didn't like it. It was too familiar. But then again, so was being in her bedroom, lying on her bed as if he owned it. His eyes glanced towards her hair and his lips turned up in repugnance. "Shit...you cut your hair."

Ignoring that comment and the knock to her pride it caused, Sophia got straight to the point. "What the hell are you doing here, Luke?"

Luke frowned, but didn't seem all that put out by her lack of warmth. He clasped his hands under his head and shrugged his shoulders. "Just thought I'd come by and welcome you home."

Sophia folded her arms across her chest. "And breaking into my home and waiting for me in my dark bedroom seemed like the appropriate way to do it?"

"When have I ever done anything remotely appropriate?" Luke smiled in a way that could only be described as wolfish. It was such a terrible pun she actually cringed.

"Besides," he continued, "your window has always been open for me, so technically, I didn't break in."

Sophia immediately went to the window in question and shut it. "An oversight. And it's never been open for _you_, that's just your arrogance talking."

A twinge of annoyance entered his steely gaze, she refused to back down though, and held his intense stare. His jaw worked back and forth and his eyes narrowed. He came off the bed in a flash and closed the short distance between them, he framed either side of her head with his arms and braced himself against the window pane behind her, effectively bracketing her in.

His hazel eyes softened as he ran them over every inch of her body like a lover's lazy hands. When he came back to her face, that easy smile was back and he was leaning in for the kill. Her body went ramrod straight and he must of sensed the fear in her, because he stopping mere centimeters from her lips.

Luke's eyes narrowed on her as if seeing her for the first time. His nostrils flared and he audibly sniffed. "You smell weird."

Sophia's mouth dropped in shock. She came off the window pane with force and shoved him away from her. "Excuse me?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "Okay, not weird. Just…not normal."

Beyond insulted, Sophia's face screwed up in disgust and she pointed to her bedroom door. "Yeah, that's better. Get out of here, Luke!"

He ignored her and sat down heavily into her desk chair. He reached blindly behind him and grabbed one of the sandwiches she no longer had any appetite for, and took a large bite. "Where have you been, Sophia, and what have you done to yourself?" he said around the mouthful.

Furious at his cavalier attitude, Sophia restrained herself from stomping her foot. "That's none of your damn business, Lucas Cates. After what happened that night with Scott, do you honestly think you have any kind of right to be here? That I'd _want_ you to be here?"

"Save it, Sophia. You've wanted me to be here since we turned fourteen—hell maybe before that—you always did like playing house way too much when we were kids."

Her cheeks burned scarlet. "Well we're not kids anymore, Luke. You may still act like it, but I am well and truly over it _and_ you."

There was a visible tick in his jaw as he dropped the sandwich back on the plate and got to his feet. "You know what, Sophia? I'm over something too. I'm over this stupid little game we've been playing for the past two years. This cat and mouse bullshit." He cupped her face in his hands, refusing to release her when she tried to shake him off. "We're meant for each other, Sophia. Mated. It was always suppose to be you and me. Cates and Donner, the two strongest bloodlines in the territory, and now that you've flipped, I'm ready to make that commitment."

He let her go and stepped away, giving her space to process what he'd just said.

Sophia felt bitter tears bight at the corner of her eyes, but she fought them off. "Bloodlines? I'm a mongrel, Luke-"

A low growl emanated from his throat. "Don't say that."

"Yeah, well it's true. It's what's always been between us, and you know it." She took a calming breath before she dropped the bomb that would dash all the pretty promises, which sounded so beautiful, but she knew could never be. "I haven't flipped, Luke."

He frowned in confusion. "What? But that night—"

Her self preservation kicked into high gear and stiffened her resolve. She folded her arms back in front of her and regarded him coolly and calmly. "I _can't_ flip, Luke. It's not going to happen for me…ever."

His anger began to flare. "What the fuck are you talking about, Sophia? I've _seen_ it in you…the wolf. It might not of come out of you then, but it's going to happen and when it does—"

"What, Luke? What happens then?" She needed to make him go away. She needed to cut the string that had connected them so strongly for so many years. "What, we settle down and raise a couple puppies together in the craziness that surrounds this town? I'm _human_. I've accepted it and that means there's more for me now then just _you_ and Wolf-'"

He moved with inhuman speed. His lips stole hers in a bruising kiss. Their first real kiss. It should have been sweet; a culmination to years of longing, but there was nothing sweet about it. It was fury, plain and simple. All plundering tongues and gnawing teeth. Luke worried at her full bottom lip, nicking it slightly as he pulled away from her, leaving the taste of metallic blood and loss in her mouth. He trailed more bruising kisses along her jaw before reaching her ear.

"I'm not giving up on you, Sophia."

Sophia whimpered and screwed her eyes tightly shut so he couldn't see the grief and yearning she knew would be there, and when she opened them some time later, he was gone.

* * *

Vivian Cates stood in the doorway to her only child's empty bedroom.

On any given day, he could be anywhere, suffice to say it wasn't unheard of for her son to be out late at night or even not come home at all. But today was different.

There was only one place Luke could be. With her.

Vivian shook her head in disappointment, shut the bedroom door and headed for her newly acquired office. In the handful of weeks since she'd been made Alpha, she'd become quite at home in the wing back chair that some of the packs greatest past Alphas had ruled from.

She idly ran her fingers over the leather as she thought of her next move. Luke and Mathew Donner were two people she had great plans for, and neither of them included Sophia Donner, the girl who wore Marie Donner's face.

Marie Donner. The mousy haired angulated who'd stolen away her chosen mate and made him turn away from his own kind. How someone so weak and unremarkable had managed to cur the strongest of them all, V would never understand.

Still, V thought as she leant back in the chair and sighed contentedly, it wasn't a complete loss. Willard Cates had been a most excellent consolation. A powerful Wolf who now had a clear path to Alpha with Mathew Donner no longer in the running, a prize for any bitch, even with the miscreant pups he'd had in tow. He'd been a good man, and a loving mate.

But all good things must come to and end, as they say.

Vivian's thoughts turned back to Sophia. Sweet and willful Sophia.

A roadblock to her father's heart and a mongrel child, completely inappropriate for her son's mate.

Hopefully the daughter would prove be just as easy to dispatch of as the mother had been.


End file.
